When is Couples Counseling a Good Idea?
How to tell if and when couples counseling could help you and your partner
If you find yourself asking if now is the right time for couples counseling , odds are the answer is “yes!” Far too often, couples treat therapy as a last resort. After years of putting up with unhappiness, and trying similar tactics to change it over and over again without success, they finally seek out the services of a couples therapist. It should come with no surprise that by this point, it’s often too late.
The best time to do therapy together is when you are aware of persistent issues you’d like to overcome, but before you’ve built up resentment towards your partner. There are no issues too small to bring to counseling. Whether you’ve been arguing a lot lately about one particular topic or several different topics in general, spending too little time together, having issues with your intimacy, or simply feeling like the current state of your relationship isn’t exactly what you signed up for, these issues can be explored and possibly worked out in couples counseling.
Don’t get me wrong - many problems can be overcome without having to go to therapy. Just as you might ignore a mild toothache that goes away quickly, you don’t have to seek counseling the moment you have an argument with your partner. You can rest assured that even the healthiest of relationships will have difficulties from time to time. It’s the ones that persist, however, despite all your attempts to solve it - much like the biting toothache that just won’t go away, or consistently reappears - that can really benefit from getting a professional, neutral third party involved. A good therapist can help you get unstuck from these difficult situations and find healing.
Now, I don’t mean to imply that if you’ve already built up resentment, it’s definitely too late to benefit from counseling. I do believe it’s still worth booking the appointment as long as both partners have some desire to make the relationship work again. The problem is that by the time at least one person is checked out, any kind of progress in therapy will mostly be limited to navigating a healthy breakup or divorce. Don’t let it get that far before trying therapy!
Again, if you’re asking the question - “Do we need couples counseling?” - you almost definitely have something to gain from the experience. You don’t have to be in crisis. You don’t have to hate each other. You don’t have to be the most contentious couple you know. All it takes are those relationship aches that just won’t go away. Get your relationship checked out by an expert; you can only benefit from it!
Learn more about my Couples Counseling services, or contact me to get your free phone consultation scheduled.
